I’ve been an active spanker for many years, but have just recently started this website with information about me, the types of discipline and spankings that I offer, and how to contact me to arrange a session. I’m not aiming to charge for disciplinary services, and so unsurprisingly, I’ve been asked why I’ve gone to the trouble of setting all this up.
A few years ago, I met a young woman on a website that I had recently joined. I’ll call her Lucy, although that was not her name. I didn’t meet her on this site, it was one purely dedicated to spanking and unfortunately, it was not well moderated and had quite a lot of fake accounts and seemingly a lot more predatory behaviour than Fetlife suffers. She was a student at Edinburgh University, but she was not from Scotland. She was from a culture that didn’t encourage people, especially young women, to fully explore their identities.
Lucy had a problem. She had a deep and enduring desire to be spanked by a man. She’d felt this way for as long as she could remember. She told me once that she used to get excited about getting into trouble at school and fantasised about being punished in the headmaster’s office. The problem was, she was conflicted about her desires. All her life, she’d gotten the message that she shouldn’t feel this way and although she was an intelligent, independent thinking woman, the conflict that she had about it held her back in a way that made her very unhappy and uncertain how to safely explore her interest in spanking. It was also affecting her work. She was procrastinating about her masters dissertation and struggling to sleep because of intrusive thoughts about being punished for her lack of work and progress.
When I met Lucy, we met for a cup of coffee in a public place, then a week later in a hotel room for her first consensual spanking; a disciplinary session for procrastinating. We talked about time management, about making a schedule and about delayed gratification. By the time we’d finished, she had a very sore bottom but told me she felt somehow lighter and that perhaps, she could do some writing. Over the course of a year or two, our dynamic grew. She passed her master’s degree with flying colours and authored a research paper. Meanwhile, we explored her spanking interests as her confidence in both her work and her kink matured. In many ways, it felt like we were separating out two parts of her identity by giving her a safe place to explore. Perhaps counter intuitively, that helped her integrate them.
Eventually, she moved away to start a job on the west coast of the US. Last time we chatted, she was thoroughly enjoying her work and life, in a relationship with a like-minded daddy-dom, and getting regularly spanked. I like to think I played a part in helping her build the confidence to break free of how she’d been told she should live her life, and helped her find some balance.
As a spanker for almost two decades, I’ve acted as a disciplinarian and sometimes mentor for many women of all ages, many of whom I remain friends with. While Lucy’s story involved perhaps the most dramatic change, aspects of it are far from unique. I’ve learned over the years that there are many women who want or need to be spanked but can’t find a good way to go about exploring, with sometimes destructive consequences. Finding a partner that’s willing to listen, that knows how to spank safely and doesn’t come into the situation assuming that spanking is a prelude to something else, is apparently far from easy. This is true even in cities like London that have a vibrant spanking scenes, but much more so in places which lack such a community.
I cannot deny that I thoroughly enjoy spanking play in its many forms and if that wasn’t true, I wouldn’t be here. My hope, however, is that by setting myself up as a disciplinarian, I can provide a safe place for women to explore or simply fulfil their interest in spanking and discipline with confidence.
